A New Paradigm of Therapy: Symptoms as Intelligence, Not Pathology
What if symptoms are not an indication of wrongness?
What if symptoms carry messages—intelligence, even?
What if symptoms are a form of communication, rather than evidence of pathology?
Symptoms as Communication, Not Pathology
In my graduate school training as a marriage and family therapist, the primary models of therapy that I immersed myself in and practiced were Structural Family Therapy and Strategic Family Therapy. What these models offered me—and what makes family systems theory paradigm-shifting—is a fundamentally different way of understanding symptoms.
In family systems-oriented therapy, symptoms are not viewed as isolated, individual issues—they are relational. Symptoms emerge in response to the dynamics of our relationships and the nature of our environments. A symptom serves a purpose. It does something. It communicates something—often unconsciously—on behalf of the system it lives within.
Here are two common examples:
A child’s parents are fighting frequently and drifting apart. The child develops an eating disorder. That eating disorder functions as a stabilizing force—it redirects the parents’ attention toward the child, unifies them around a shared concern, and temporarily eases the strain in their marriage.
A partner feels powerless in their relationship. They don’t feel heard. They don’t know how to name their needs or assert themselves directly. So, they become critical. The criticism provides a sense of power and agency where none felt available before.
In both cases, the symptom is not random. It is an adaptive and/or maladaptive response.
A Holistic and Relational Approach to Therapy
When I say that I practice holistically as a therapist, this is part of what I mean. I am always attempting to see my client through a lens of wholeness: simultaneously spiritual, somatic, psychological, and relational in nature.
When a client brings a symptom into the therapy room, I don’t align and agree with it as a set symptoms or diagnosis.
I get curious.
I ask questions.
I take a thorough history of the symptom: when it first emerged, what was happening in their life at that time, how the symptom functioned then, and how it functions now. I want to understand the role it has played in helping them live, relate, and, quite frankly, exist.
This is a foundational belief system that I hold: Symptoms carry important information and immense intelligence.
I’ll add this: Underneath the pain, chaos, struggle, or drama those symptoms may instigate and perpuate, there most often lives key insight, healing, wisdom, talents, gifts, and resources to uncover.
This is where I see the therapeutic field heading: Moving away from over-pathologizing and moving toward a more curious, compassionate, and loving relationship with what ails us.
Obsessive Patterns as Nervous System Intelligence
About 40% of my client caseload includes individuals who struggle with obsessive and compulsive patterns. I want to say this clearly: These individuals are some of the most self-aware, perceptive, emotionally attuned, and conscientious people I know.
I include myself here. I’ve struggled with obsessive-compulsive tendencies at various points in my own life.
These patterns are not evidence of a dysfunctional person. They are evidence of a nervous system that learned how to manage a dysfunctional society and family system in the best way they knew how at the time. They are evidence of a highly-attuned, highly sensitive person who learned how to manage uncertainty, threat, or overwhelm in the best way they knew how.
Obsessive-compulsive tendencies don’t appear randomly. They often emerge during times of profound stress, overwhelm, or unmet attachment needs. They become ways to self-soothe, to create predictability, and to feel safe when safety was not reliably available.
In many ways, these symptoms functioned like a brilliant stand-in caretaker—a pseudo-parent stepping in when the nervous system was left to fend for itself.
I don’t believe we need to eliminate diagnosis altogether. Diagnostic frameworks can be incredibly helpful. They offer language. They provide context. They allow people to name what they’re experiencing—and naming is powerful.
(I’ve written more about the potency of naming here).
What I do believe we need to hold more loosely is diagnosis as identity.
A diagnosis may be true for a season, a decade, or even a lifetime—but it is not the totality of who we are. These patterns are not necessarily permanent, nor are they static.
An Invitation
If you’re longing to holistically address your symptoms and work with someone who sees your wholeness rather than your diagnosis, I offer holistic therapy for adults in Connecticut and New York seeking deep, compassionate, and transformative work. You can view my approach and book a free consultation here.
With care,
Heather
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