let life enter you

Hi love,

It's no secret to any of us that - right now - we are in apocalyptic times. As tragedy after tragedy of gun violence sweeps this country, as Mother Earth's fury and rage is mirrored in the fires sweeping traditional Konkow Maidu territory (known as California in the United States), as unarmed Black people continue to be shot and killed by white people, as anti-semitism continues to become more apparent, etc...

...there has become a general predictable pattern that occurs on social media that, I feel, mirrors how we are in-relationship with tragedy in daily life too: the tragedy happens, we briefly engage with it, and then we go move on and go about business as usual.

We ignore the root cause of the thing (and how that root cause might live inside of us), we feel helpless, we may donate some money, and then we move on. And said pattern repeats.

Most of us spend our time reacting to life rather than letting it enter into us and shape us.

Most of us become anesthetized to the tragic, messy truths of the state of our country (and our world) because we don't want to feel the pain and grief that's beneath it. Because we don't believe in the power that we have to do our part. 

Most of us resist letting life enter us. 

Why is that? Why do you think that is?

To me, this is the essence of healing. 

I define healing as the ongoing practice of letting our temporary, earthly experience enter into us and become integrated with our infinite divinity.

Healing requires me to be an active participant and a surrendered student. Healing requires me to show up and do my part and to know when it's time to take my hands off the wheel and receive the damn support. Healing requires me to be willing to be attuned to what is - right here and right now. Not how I'd prefer it to be. Not how I wish it was. But how it is. And to decide (with God, the angels, and my divine support) how we'd like to handle it.

Healing can be expansive, gentle, and soft. Healing can be wildly uncomfortable, like a tidal wave crashing over your whole being.

It has been a little over two weeks since the act of anti-semitism was committed at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. I am Jewish - 50 percent of my blood line. For the past two weeks, I have been letting that tragedy shape me; change me; shake me; break me; activate me. Deep ancestral trauma. A re-communion with my sweet Bubbie, who is in a different realm now. A deepening of my experiences with Merkabah and Mary Magdalene. So much has been happening through me (and still is) as a result of that tragedy.

From the tragedy, deep pain, and utter grief, I have connected even more deeply to my ancestry and have received guidance about how I am being called to share guided audio experiences with the world. 

The paradox. Always the paradox. No deep feeling? No deep healing. No going to the core of the truth of how something is affecting you? No receiving of the core of the truth that is ready to rise up and out of you.

A spiritual warrior knows that internal work is not inferior to external work.

A spiritual warrior know that work done "in quiet" is not inferior to work done "out loud."

Our culture thrives on messaging that being loud and being seen in public is necessary for our survival; necessary for us to be worthy, valid human beings. 

Let's not forget the importance of letting ourselves, our processes, and our creative projects incubate before they're ready. Let's not forget the importance of gestation - to give space for our experiences of life to shape and develop us in the dark. 

This doesn't mean we avoid speaking up when we know we need to. And especially before we feel "ready" to. And this doesn't mean we use "doing our inner work" as an excuse to stay quiet about things that matter or avoid confronting collective truths.

I pray that we can really look at ourselves inside of these deep tragedies we continue to see surface. I pray that you, dear warrior, let all of these archetypes enter you and make themselves consciously known to you. Because we are all of them. Each of us. We are the warrior, the betrayer, the angel, the healer, the conscious, the ignorant  ... all of it. I pray that we continue to see not just what we want to see - but what is actually right in front of us. 

I pray that you, dear warrior, let all of life enter you.

With love,

Photo credit for the headlining image of this post goes to Ricardo Gomez Angel via Unsplash.

Heather Waxman